Thursday, June 18, 2009

#46 Chad Allen

Name: Chad Allen

Prison Term: 1999-01

The Memories:
  • Eerily resembles Wee Man from MTV's Jackass

  • Chad Allen was named in the Mitchell report for having used steroids during his career, although nobody would've suspected it

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

#47 Scott Stahoviak

Name: Scott Stahoviak

Prison Term: 1993, 1995-98

The Memories:

  • Undeserving of being in a Twins uniform, Stahoviak will always be remembered as being dressed in street clothes
  • Stahoviak was last seen teaching gym class somewhere in Illinois

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

#48 Terry Leach

Name: Terry Leach

Prison Term: 1990-91

The Memories:
  • A member of the '91 World Series team, Leach was a side winder pitcher who all young Minnesota kids emulated in backyard baseball games.
  • There are no little known facts about Leach, as he left everything on the field.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

#49 Larry Casian

Name: Larry Casian

Prison Term: 1990-94

The Memories:

  • "Lare", as I always called him, looked like former Twin Lew Ford before Lew Ford looked like Lew Ford.
  • Casian was best known for being the left hander who would come in to face the left handed batter. This role is less appreciated than being on the offensive line in football.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

#50 Rich Garces

Name: Rich Garces

Prison Term: 1990, 1993

The Memories:

  • "Future Star" Garces was given the nickname El Guapo by Red Sox fans. Quite the fat ass, Garces actually proved worthy as as set up man after leaving the Twins.

  • Garces only played in 8 games for the Twins over 2 seasons. His ERA was 0.93 but I'm guessing eating became more of a priority for this burrito banger.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

#51 Jeff Reboulet

Name: Jeff Reboulet

Prison Term: 1992-96

The Memories:
  • Proved to be a valuable mentor to Denny Hocking.
  • Reboulet actually played every single position while with the Twins, except for pitcher. He even convinced Tom Kelly to use him as DH a few times.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

#52 Rusty Kuntz

Name: Rusty Kuntz

Prison Term: 1983

The Memories:

  • Where to start with a name like this? A shoo in for the all-time unfortunate professional sports names.
  • The athletic ability of Kuntz unfortunately couldn't cover up for his flashy porn name. He batted .191 for the Twins during the '83 season.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

#53 Paul Sorrento

Name: Paul Sorrento

Prison Term: 1989-91

The Memories:
  • Packing a nice chaw was one thing he did well with the Twins.
  • Apparently the only thing standing in Sorrento's way was Kent Hrbek. Sorrento would go on to have a nice major league career by hitting over 160 home runs in 11 seasons.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

#54 Dave Hollins

Name: Dave Hollins

Prison Term: 1996

The Memories:
  • Best known for being traded from the Twins to the Mariners for the ever popular player to be named later. Well in this case that player was David Ortiz. The Twins would later pay the favor forward to the Red Sox.
  • Dave Hollins did have a neat little stat while with the Twins. He was a member of the 100-100 club. He achieved that mark with his unimpressive 102 hits and 102 strikeouts.

Monday, May 25, 2009

#55 Frank Rodriguez

Name: Frank Rodriguez

Prison Term: 1995-98

The Memories:
  • Referred to as "Frankie" by those who actually had respect for him.
  • Traded to the Twins from the Red Sox for Rick Aguilera. Seems like a fair trade!
  • Rodriguez actually won 13 games for the Twins in 1996. Then again, someone had to pick up some wins in the mid-90's.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

#56 Matt Walbeck

Name: Matt Walbeck

Prison Term: 1994-96

The Memories:

  • Best known for catching Scott Erickson's no-hitter in 1994. I'm guessing he has a baseball on the mantel above his fireplace that he claims is from that game.

  • Walbeck had a fitting last at bat of his career - he struck out.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

#57 Chad Moeller

Name: Chad Moeller

Prison Term: 2000

The Memories:
  • Yet another catcher makes the list of forgettable Twins. Although the Twins have had some big name catchers play for them, the list of "dogs" seems never ending.

  • Moeller's greatest asset was that he was know for calling a good game. That's like telling an ugly girl she has a nice personality.

Friday, May 22, 2009

#58 Jay Canizaro

Name: Jay Canizaro

Prison Term: 2000, 2002

The Memories:
  • With a name that sounds more like a type of pasta, Canizaro had his best season in 2000 batting .269 with 7 home runs.

  • You know you're bad when you are sharing time at second base with Denny Hocking.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

#59 Scott Klingenbeck

Name: Scott Klingenbeck

Prison Term: 1995-1996

The Memories:
  • Klingenbeck didn't know it at the time, but during the 90's his body was becoming the mold for what would later be the body of Sidney Ponson.

  • Klingenbeck proved to be a formidable opponent to batters he faced. Actually, not so much. His ERA over two years with the Twins was 8.30!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

#60 Paul Abbott

Name: Paul Abbott

Prison Term: 1990-1992

The Memories:
  • No relation to Jim Abbott with the missing right hand.

  • Somehow the same Paul Abbott who was a bum for the Twins won 17 games for the Mariners in 2001. As far as I'm concerned, he'll go down as a forgettable Twin.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

#61 Derek Parks

Name: Derek Parks

Prison Term: 1992-1994

The Memories:
  • First off, big ups to the double ear flaps on the batting helmet. Very cool! Having double flaps makes total sense if you are a switch hitter. Unfortunately for Parks he batted right handed, and not very well.

  • Parks had a few cups of coffee with the Twins over his 3 year career and even managed to poke a ball out of the yard during the '94 season.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

#62 Hector Carrasco

Name: Hector Carrasco

Prison Term: 1998-2001

The Memories:

  • Best known for giving up Cal Ripken's 3,000 hit which took place at none other than the Metrodome.
  • Carrasco played for the Twins during what I like to call the "lost years" era. In other words, I'm pretty confident a lot of the local college kids who showed up for open tryouts were heavily considered to fill roster spots.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

#63 Dan Schatzeder

Name: Dan Schatzeder

Prison Term: 1987-1988

The Memories:
  • Known to his groupies as "Big Schat", Dan was a member of the 1987 World Series team and even picked up a win in Game 6.
  • Dan had a well groomed 80's "tache" that rivaled only that of Keith Hernandez.

Friday, May 8, 2009

#64 Roberto Kelly

Name: Roberto Kelly

Prison Term: 1996-1997

The Memories:

"Ro" was the 1990's version of another "Ro". That "Ro" is Rondell White. Neither will be remembered for suiting up in a Twins uni, but rather for somewhat respectable careers before coming to Minnesota. It's nice to see consistent mediocrity through decades of free agents signings.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

#65 Terry Jorgensen

Name: Terry Jorgensen

Prison Term: 1989, 1992-1993

The Memories:

A utility infield guy, Jorgensen did very little for the Twins in his career. In parts of three seasons Teri (I mean Terry) hit .240 and belted 1 home run. *There is no hard evidence as to whether that 1 home run was a wind aided.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

#66 Danny Ardoin

Name: Danny Ardoin

Prison Term: 2000

The Memories:
  • Pronounced (ar-DWAH). When a pronunciation guide is needed, this is a strong indication the player belongs on this list.

  • It's hard to reflect on many memories of a guy who only suited up 15 games for the Twins in his career. In fact, when this is all said and done, Ardoin may end up being THE MOST obscure of all former Twins. Then again that is the objective of this of this site.

Friday, May 1, 2009

#67 Michael Restovich

Name: Michael Restovich

Prison Term: 2002-2004

The Memories:

The pride of Rochester, MN, Restovich had what the scouts call "raw power." Unfortunately for this human resembling an ox, his power never translated to the big leagues. Restovich has now become a minor league journeyman destined for the trendy new profession of "former professional athlete turned real estate agent."

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

#68 Tony Fiore

Name: Tony "Vulcher" Fiore

Prison Term: 2001-2003

The Memories:

Nicknamed the "Vulcher" for picking up wins in games he had little impact on. The guy would come in relief for an inning or two, hold the lead, Twins score a few to take the lead, and boom Fiore wins 10 games!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

#69 John Smiley

Name: John Smiley

Prison Term: 1992

The Memories:

"Smiles" won 16 games for the Twins in 1992, one year after winning 20 for the Pirates. He had the free flowing hair that many young hockey players dream of.

Monday, April 27, 2009

#70 Butch Huskey

Name: Butch "Freckles" Huskey

Prison Term: 2000

The Memories:
Butch is near and dear to my heart for one important reason. He's a black man with freckles. Back in 2000, when he was a member of the Twins, I myself had freckles. Even though Huskey hit just 5 homeruns for the Twins that year, he hit a homerun with me every time he showcased his freckled face.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

#71 Alex Cole

Name: Alex Cole

Prison Term: 1994-95

The Memories:
  • Wore Rec-Specs when they were cool (can't fault him), plus he was so fast it's very possible flying insects could have blinded him.

  • Cole's life after the Twins landed him in prison for possession with intention to distribute heroin. A miserable life in the Metrodome very well could have led him to questionable decision making away from the game.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

#72 Tom Prince

Name: Tom Prince

Prison Term: 2001-2003

The Memories:

Tom Prince is a poor man's Mike Redmond, and I don't mean that as a compliment. Prince is the guy who would catch every 5th day or so, typically on a Sunday afternoon game where the starting catcher from the night before rested his knees. I've never confirmed whether or not Prince, like his successor Redmond, walked the locker rooms comfortably naked.

*No, I'm not the lucky guy to have a Tom Prince autographed card.

Friday, April 17, 2009

#73 Dan Serafini

Name: Dan Serafini

Prison Term: 1996-1998

The Memories:
According to my buddy growing up, Dan Serafini had 3 Cy Young awards and was a sure fire Hall of Famer before he ever threw his first pitch. Well, Bill, let's fast forward 13 years. Last time I checked, Serafini had been suspended 50 games by MLB and wasn't getting a sniff by any teams!

By the way, were my buddy Bill and I the only two people to think we won the lottery when we pulled a Dan Serafini 1993 Topps Gold card?

Thursday, April 16, 2009

#74 John Moses

Name: John Moses

Prison Term: 1988-1990

The Memories:
  • Fantastic mustache

  • Came to the Twins one year after the 1st World Series and left the year before the 2nd. I'm going to go ahead and say John Moses is the reason the Twins won both World Series.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

#75 Bernardo Brito

Name: Bernardo Brito

Prison Term: 1992-93, 1995

The Memories:

Bernardo Brito seemed to be All-Star caliber everywhere but the Major Leagues. He hit 299 career minor league homeruns and played in three all-star games. After his career in the Bigs he went to Japan where he made another all-star game.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

#76 Matt Kinney

Name: Matt Kinney

Prison Term: 2000, 2002

The Memories:

For reasons unknown to me, Kinney didn't play for the Twins in 2001. I always thought Kinney looked like a lego person. Of course this has nothing to do with baseball, but then again neither did Matt Kinney's career.

Monday, April 13, 2009

#77 Mark Portugal

Name: Mark "Fat Face" Portugal

Prison Term: 1985-1988

The Memories:

Well, being that he was drafted before I was born and finished playing with the Twins before I learned how to read, my memories are foggy. Looking at his stats, he never won more than 6 games for the Twins. Lucky enough for him, he was on the 1987 World Series roster.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

#78 David West

Name: David West

Prison Term: 1989-1992

The Memories:

David (or apparently Dave according to his 1990 Donruss baseball card) is probably best known for being part of the trade that sent Frank Viola to the Mets. The Twins received West, Rick Aguilera and Kevin Tapani amongst a few others. A little known fact about David West is that he recorded an ERA of infinity in the 1991 World Series. I have nothing else to say.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

#79 Pat Mahomes

Name: Pat Mahomes

Prison Term: 1992-1996

The Memories:

Something tells me that Twins fans should have known they didn't have anything special the day Mahomes was seen wearing a winter cap under his baseball hat. But, as dismal as the mid-90's were for the Twins, there must have been a good reason to keep him around for 5 years!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

#80 Joe Roa

Name: Joe Roa "Constrictor"

Prison Term: 2004

The Memories:

The way he used to stare directly through my TV with his creepy glass looking eyes is enough to make anyone want to forget Joe Roa

Monday, April 6, 2009

#81 Wally Backman

Name: "Wonderful" Wally Backman

Prison Term: 1989

The Memories:
  1. Furious mustache
  2. Quite the gamer on RBI Baseball